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How to understand yourself and others 

By  Lysette Offley

Want to understand yourself and others better?

Ever asked yourself, why do they do that?

Thanks to Tanya Ces Maneiro and Vanessa Hunt for flagging up a very useful video about what drives our behaviour.

But first this!

Maybe we can all get along

OK! Back to the plot…

The secret to understanding people and why they do the things they do

DISC FEARS

When we wake up to what drives our behaviour, not to mention the behaviour of others, it means that we have the opportunity to make changes…

If we want to.

After all, there’s nothing wrong with any of the four personality types in this video.

Quite the contrary! We need to be fearful of danger in order to stay safe.

We are hardwired to be accepted and to belong. We are still physiologically, pretty much the same as we were 10,000 years ago when we lived in caves. Making it a priority to get along with the others in said cave was a lifesaver. Then, as now, your unconscious mind keeping its eye open for signs of danger keeps us alive.

All four of these fears are still useful today.

In some situations…

Why do they do that?The presenter in the video talks about needing to be liked. That’s such a strong driver that no doubt he has developed a robust skill set designed to ensure that he is never rejected, because for him, rejection is his worst fear.

However, there are many situations, for example, when presenting to an audience as he is doing here, that those skills he has developed to make people like him, means that he is probably a very successful presenter.

Conversely, as he also tells us, there are situations where his preoccupation with being liked, is detrimental to his marriage… the most important relationship of all.

But because he understands what drove his behaviour in the example he gave us, he can catch himself next time and focus instead on other priorities and values… in this case, his wife.

But if he never woke up to that automatic mechanism pushing him into that particular behaviour in the first place, he would always be a victim of it.

It would have him instead of him have it.

Now he has a choice.

Where do you need more choice?

And here’s Seth Godin on the subject of fear

Lysette Offley


With 40 years of experience, Lysette Offley is a Memory and Mindset Coach to women and men at the top of their game in the Financial Services Industry who recognise the value of continual personal and professional development and support to achieve a healthy work-life balance, along with satisfaction and fulfilment.

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